Hello humans.

So. I really do apologise if you ever get lost throughout this piece. I will try to use commas and full stops as much as humanly possible. Now, upon a cracking night with Emma, we decided to help each other out with our creative ideas and she may regret having asked but I am having a go anyway. This blog is the gospel truth for me and I am now aware that I am tainting it but hey HO, a woman’s gotta speak!

But yes, cutting to the chase, it may be no surprise to my pals that I am writing about Miley Cyrus.

So when I began writing this I thought ooooh not many people know about her newest album “Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz”. Thus, I shall write about it and let EVERYBODY see how beautiful, emotional, loving, sexual, and just GREAT Miley really is. So I was in the process of doing exactly that, and THEN… She released her newest single right on cue. Ergo, I am also going to write about said single.

But always best to start from the beginning so let’s begin with Her Dead Petz (“Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz”, 2015). This is a free 23 track album initially released just on Soundcloud. Needless to say, I swiftly got myself a Soundcloud account. It was created simply because she frickin’ can and she’s awesome. (This piece is not biased at all). While the album title would suggest that it’s all about her dead petz, only two songs (The Floyd Song (Sunrise) and Pablow the Blowfish) are directly referencing her deceased pets.

The album is actually pretty much just based on sex. Getting drunk, getting high, but mostly just sex. And this isn’t like sex, “oh how lovely and exciting”, it’s like “this is exactly what happens in my bed, this is what I do, what I like, and I ain’t leaving out no gory details.” But that’s great. Everyone now wants to know whagwan in the private lives of celebrities so she’s really just giving us what we’ve asked for. A very explicit way of doing so but maybe that’s the point she’s making. We never seem to be happy with what we get.

Anyway, back to the dead pet songs. These two are so emotional, and show how reliant she was and I’m sure still is, on all those around her – even if they happen to be a blowfish. In Pablow the Blowfish, she’s crying and sniffing, and it just hits you. She’s singing about how her friends once ordered sushi she couldn’t eat because “seeing her friends eat her friends killed her appetite.” Fair. If i saw my friends eating my friends I’m sure I’d have the same reaction.

When I saw Miley back in 2013, just before she performed Can’t Be Tamed, a ginormous, and I mean like the same height as the whole stage, sculpture of her deceased dog Floyd was placed on stage. Initially she was throwing herself around stage as I’m sure we have all seen, ass n’ titties and all that. But half way through she just collapsed over Floyd’s paw and was crying for the rest of the song. My mum swiftly fell in love with her too. The point is these songs are just so raw – arguably more raw than Wrecking Ball – that it’s hard not to empathise. She loves her pets and even if there aren’t loads of songs about her them the idea is that dedicating the album to them reflects that love. But YES. As I was hinting at earlier, there’s a lot going on other than being sad about her dead pets.

And that would be sex.

Getting high…being drunk….but mainly, yes. Sex.

Her sexual desires, dreams, and realities are all revealed and reflected upon in this impetuous, experimental, and “foggy” album – obviously aided by her direct, unfiltered lyrics (Bang Me Box, Milky Milky Milk, Slab of Butter). Lyrics like “I want yours inside of me, but don’t forget that I like licking”, or “I want you to bang my box”, or “there ain’t nothing that I’m scared to try. I can be on top, or if you like it I’ll just lie here” fit very nicely with some sex noises thrown in here and there. And no, not like Zayn Malik. WHY WHY WHY is there an orgasm noise in your song? WTF? With Miley it just WORKS (and that’s the gospel truth).

But this album isn’t particularly reflective. It’s more like, yup, this is what I’m feeling, this is what I want, and that’s that. The most personal and reflective song is BB Talk where she opens up in a semi spoken-verse track about how much this guy is LOVELY but WAY TOO GROSS AND LOVEY and the latter just isn’t doing this BB Talkin’ man any favours (“fuck me so you stop baby talking”). Lol, preach. But generally the album is very relaxed, with casual conversation just left in the middle of a song “ok, keep that last one there” etc., and “unfinished” or abrupt endings. These reflect the general feel of the album.

But in terms of the MUUUUUSIC… (here we go just watch me try).

They range from a simple piano melody (Pablow the Blowfish, Twinkle Song), to the more garagebandesque “electric drum kit” sort of melodies (Milky Milky Milk), to more spacey Tibetan/Indianesqe guitar melodies (The Floyd Song (Sunrise). The more “misty” songs emphasise her state of general “Fucking Fucked Up”-ness, often aided by the self-explanatory lyrics “at your place, or up in space”, “we just smoked a bowl”, “I’m ‘bout to get fucked up, wanna get fucked up, fucked up”, “we done a bunch of pills” etc.
One song consists of the lyrics: “I’m so drunk. I can’t even explain what I feel right now” on repeat. 0.46 seconds of PURE BLISS via the fantastic means of electronic soundmaking. Not the most complex lyrics, but definitely truthful and insightful.

As an experimental album I think this ROCKS. I’m sure there are so many musicians who could literally do this in their sleep, but this is not Miley’s usual approach and I think it’s fuuuuuuckin cool. She’s evidently trying anything and everything in pretty much all aspects of life, but it sounds like she’s just trying to find meaning and happiness and all that. Anyway, I could say so much more on this but it’s time to MOVE ON to the meaning and happiness she has now found (yay).

So so so so SO. So far only Younger Now has been released from her newest album so cannot do a full album review (lucky you). Evidently she is not younger now, this is actually impossible. What she means is that she just feels younger now. But yes, this song is all about her coming to accept her past – acknowledging that she is not the same person: “even though it’s not who I am, I’m not afraid of who I used to be”.

She shows this in her music video in such a great way and goes through all of the “people she used to be” (even though she has described that they were not different people, but all her), and shows them by changing her hair, or clothes, or what she’s doing with her mouth etc., and is basically just showing that she has accepted her past and that all is good with all the Mileys and Hannahs (if that’s how you want to see it). She shows this by doing the Hoedown Throwdown as in The Hannah Montana Movie, shnogging an old granny as the “crazy” Miley might have done, and bowing in peace with a doll that looks like child star Miley.

She is evidently through and through inspired by Elvis: dress sense, dance moves, and the beat of the song. It has a slow beat, with the bass drum hitting hardest on the final beat making you wanna nod your head along slash not even nod your head more like thrust your hips on beat with the final bass beat – WAHEY like Elvis!

Despite my love for both Miley and Elvis, I cannot lie, I do naaaaaaat like this song. At all.
It is composed of two verses, one chorus, and a bridge of the same repeated lyrics so that lyrically it is neither challenging nor poetic. Admittedly, it reflects her state of peace and while she has been promoting world peace for the past however long, if not all her life, she has not been at peace with herself. I know that was lame and I apologise but I believe it is true.She has now accepted who she was and is content with who she is (or so it seems), and this song shows exactly that.

I don’t like it but I love what it stands for and even if you don’t go out and give it a listen know that the world has lost a publicly sex crazed human which is sad, but maybe nice for Liam Hemsworth, and also maybe for you? I don’t have all the answers but I feel she will be “about to get fucked up, get fucked up, FUCKED UP” slightly less frequently than she did in the past, and your Instagram may be slightly less spammed with pictures of her high af.

Peace and peas mother fuckers.

xoxox

Katie

N.B. When she says “no-one goes to Moscow now” (which is really quite rude and a slight over-exaggeration, I’m sure some people still go to Moscow) she actually says “you know, what goes up must come down”. I feel this intertwines these two albums very well in terms of drug induced highness and  her craziness being calmed and happiness and everything is levelled and good and content which just very VERY GOOD NEWS.